Since the idea for kindling was conceived (over mango margaritas at Alero to be specific), we have been struggling to come up with a concise way to describe what, exactly, kindling is.
We started with "It's a magazine that's not a magazine" but that seems to lead to more confusion.
Then we got a bit long-winded "You see it's like a literary magazine except it's not pretentious and it's more light-hearted, and it's all short-form and it comes in an envelope." [puzzled look] "You see each piece is on a 4x6 card - and there are 20 cards in each issue - and each one has it's own piece on it and the artist's information on the back. So the whole thing is this unbound stack of 4x6 cards in an envelope."
We talked to our friend Paul at Idle Time Books about our need for a pithy way to describe it. The brain-trust brainstorm went something like this:
"It's a new literature delivery system"
"That doesn't tell people anything"
"It's like a new literature vehicle. Vehicle... vesicle."
"Too anatomical"
"How about envelope lit"
"Pouch lit"
"Too marsupial"
"Let's see...it's an envelope....a pouch...a sheath. Sheath literature."
"But what does that really tell people? It sounds like a weapon, or wheat."
"Envelope....pocket?"
"Pocket rocket!"
[a customer who was probably trying to block us out as he read from the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, peers around a bookshelf "You probably want to stay away from pocket rocket."] Wise words.
"Pocket literature!"
"Pocket lit!"
"Yes, because it's in a pocket, and it also fits in your pocket--" [begins doodling on a piece of paper] "See? It's a jeans pocket, but it's also an envelope--"
"Did you just draw an envelope on a butt?"
"Well....yes."
Exactly.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
A Parable
There were once two young people: a woman and a man. They were both of average intelligence, average looks, and had an average net wealth. In fact, the only way they were not mediocre was in their love of literature.
It was autumn, nearing the holidays, and because these two were of only average intelligence, they were having trouble coming up with new ideas for gifts. They loved their family and friends, but were stuck firmly in a cycle of cliched gift ideas (sweaters, socks, Starbucks gift cards, more sweaters, DVDs).
One day, within seconds of each other -- these two lived on other sides of the country and had no interaction with or relation to each other -- they decided they were going to think outside the box and come up with the most amazing Christmas gift for their significant other (They chose one, thinking that getting amazing gifts for others might prove to be too much -- mom and dad would have to just live with another sweater).
The man decided to go somewhere he'd never been: the red light district. He searched high and low for lingerie and sex gifts, something to make his girlfriend love him more than she loved breathing. No, another gift card for a day at the spa would not suffice. Through the dark alleys and dens of vice he went looking for something, anything, to get for the love of his life. Then he found it, he found the most lewd, sexy, lascivious gift in the entire world, and was sure his honey would love it.
The woman wanted a gift for her husband. He'd asked for a flat screen and a three way, but she could not afford the former, and was repulsed by the latter. So she thought, and thought, and thought, and thought, until finally she decided to open up her computer and check her email. She got to surfing the internet, stopping here to look at videos, dawdling there to look at necklaces and jewelry for herself. And then she came across www.gatherkindling.com. And she saw that Kindling had gift subscriptions. For $24 dollars she could give her husband an amazing Christmas gift. But there was more, because at that rate she could afford subscriptions for everybody! EVERYONE WOULD GET KINDLING FOR CHRISTMAS!! She was so happy, she could barely contain herself; she did not know how she would keep it a secret until Christmas.
Eventually Christmas came. The man took his wife, sat her down on the sofa and brought out the gifts. He was so happy, so proud. He'd placed the gift in a large box, and wrapped it with gold paper and a red ribbon. He was trembling with excitement as she opened it.
But when she opened it, she was trembling with a different emotion: rage. Her heart felt like it had been turned inside out. She grabbed a bronzed ornamental pear from their coffee table and hucked it at his head, striking him on the bridge of the nose and rendering him bleeding and unconscious. She then dragged him out into the street, stripped him naked, and wrote pervert all over his body with her lipstick. His gift was placed next to him on the lawn.
Later, he was still unconscious. He was carried away by some meth cooks looking for a little extra score -- they left the gift he'd gotten for his wife. They kept him in their trailer, tied to the toilet, while they schemed in the living room about how they could demand a ransom. It was difficult, as neither of them knew how to write, let alone craft a ransom note. As they were arguing, with large hand gestures about the importance of a few words, a batch of meth that they had left unattended exploded, killing the both of them as well as their hostage.
The woman on the other hand, was thrown a parade by her neighborhood. She got gift subscriptions to Kindling for everybody and was given the key to the city.
Moral? We'll let you decide the moral. And when you figure it out head on over to our subscriptions page, and make yourself right with the world.
It was autumn, nearing the holidays, and because these two were of only average intelligence, they were having trouble coming up with new ideas for gifts. They loved their family and friends, but were stuck firmly in a cycle of cliched gift ideas (sweaters, socks, Starbucks gift cards, more sweaters, DVDs).
One day, within seconds of each other -- these two lived on other sides of the country and had no interaction with or relation to each other -- they decided they were going to think outside the box and come up with the most amazing Christmas gift for their significant other (They chose one, thinking that getting amazing gifts for others might prove to be too much -- mom and dad would have to just live with another sweater).
The man decided to go somewhere he'd never been: the red light district. He searched high and low for lingerie and sex gifts, something to make his girlfriend love him more than she loved breathing. No, another gift card for a day at the spa would not suffice. Through the dark alleys and dens of vice he went looking for something, anything, to get for the love of his life. Then he found it, he found the most lewd, sexy, lascivious gift in the entire world, and was sure his honey would love it.
The woman wanted a gift for her husband. He'd asked for a flat screen and a three way, but she could not afford the former, and was repulsed by the latter. So she thought, and thought, and thought, and thought, until finally she decided to open up her computer and check her email. She got to surfing the internet, stopping here to look at videos, dawdling there to look at necklaces and jewelry for herself. And then she came across www.gatherkindling.com. And she saw that Kindling had gift subscriptions. For $24 dollars she could give her husband an amazing Christmas gift. But there was more, because at that rate she could afford subscriptions for everybody! EVERYONE WOULD GET KINDLING FOR CHRISTMAS!! She was so happy, she could barely contain herself; she did not know how she would keep it a secret until Christmas.
Eventually Christmas came. The man took his wife, sat her down on the sofa and brought out the gifts. He was so happy, so proud. He'd placed the gift in a large box, and wrapped it with gold paper and a red ribbon. He was trembling with excitement as she opened it.
But when she opened it, she was trembling with a different emotion: rage. Her heart felt like it had been turned inside out. She grabbed a bronzed ornamental pear from their coffee table and hucked it at his head, striking him on the bridge of the nose and rendering him bleeding and unconscious. She then dragged him out into the street, stripped him naked, and wrote pervert all over his body with her lipstick. His gift was placed next to him on the lawn.
Later, he was still unconscious. He was carried away by some meth cooks looking for a little extra score -- they left the gift he'd gotten for his wife. They kept him in their trailer, tied to the toilet, while they schemed in the living room about how they could demand a ransom. It was difficult, as neither of them knew how to write, let alone craft a ransom note. As they were arguing, with large hand gestures about the importance of a few words, a batch of meth that they had left unattended exploded, killing the both of them as well as their hostage.
The woman on the other hand, was thrown a parade by her neighborhood. She got gift subscriptions to Kindling for everybody and was given the key to the city.
Moral? We'll let you decide the moral. And when you figure it out head on over to our subscriptions page, and make yourself right with the world.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Kindling: Retail Version
There was a time, and that time was not that long ago, when Kindling was only available for purchase on the world wide web. It was a fine time, but we always knew we would be moving up, to bigger things, to better things. And that time for us is now. We're officially in a store. Yes, we're still available for purchase through our website, but we're also available for purchase at Smash Records in Adams Morgan.
For some of you out there, this might be a bummer. You're all the way in Chicago, or Portland, or Texas, or India, and your record stores and coffee shops and magazine stands do not currently carry Kindling. Be cool, we're working on that.
Now, for the rest of you. That means you have a job to do. If you're in the District, get over to Adams Morgan and buy the hell out of some Kindling. If Smash Records is out of Kindling, demand they call us to bring over some more. The higher the demand, the more Kindling will be provided, until it's all over the place. Literally, we want to be everywhere. Starbucks, McDonalds, Ruths Chris, Jaleo, Powells in Portland, Billy Bobs in Fort Worth. Does Lennox Lewis own a restaurant or a club somewhere? We want to be there.
(Also, check us out at DC Week, maybe)
For some of you out there, this might be a bummer. You're all the way in Chicago, or Portland, or Texas, or India, and your record stores and coffee shops and magazine stands do not currently carry Kindling. Be cool, we're working on that.
Now, for the rest of you. That means you have a job to do. If you're in the District, get over to Adams Morgan and buy the hell out of some Kindling. If Smash Records is out of Kindling, demand they call us to bring over some more. The higher the demand, the more Kindling will be provided, until it's all over the place. Literally, we want to be everywhere. Starbucks, McDonalds, Ruths Chris, Jaleo, Powells in Portland, Billy Bobs in Fort Worth. Does Lennox Lewis own a restaurant or a club somewhere? We want to be there.
(Also, check us out at DC Week, maybe)
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