Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Years and What We're Reading Now

Today is the last day of 2011 (it may be the beginning of the last year ever and isn't Mayan Apocalypse super exciting). Approximately mid-morning on the east coast, but I'm sure some of our readers, writers and all around fans are drunk already. And why not...mimosas and bloody maries are delicious. So, enjoy the eve. Have a riotous time. Just as a word of caution: don't kill anyone. Prison life is no life at all.


At any rate, I'd like to take this time to introduce a new feature to our blog. It's called the What We're Reading Now section. We being the editors, and what we're reading being books. If this goes according to plan, there will be discussion of the books we're reading after we finish them, or while we're reading them...or whatever.


So, without further ado....Brian is reading -- Light of Falling Stars by J Robert Lennon.  Carolyn is reading The Zero by Jess Walter. Updates to follow. 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

a pithy description

Since the idea for kindling was conceived (over mango margaritas at Alero to be specific), we have been struggling to come up with a concise way to describe what, exactly, kindling is.

We started with "It's a magazine that's not a magazine" but that seems to lead to more confusion.

Then we got a bit long-winded "You see it's like a literary magazine except it's not pretentious and it's more light-hearted, and it's all short-form and it comes in an envelope." [puzzled look] "You see each piece is on a 4x6 card - and there are 20 cards in each issue - and each one has it's own piece on it and the artist's information on the back. So the whole thing is this unbound stack of 4x6 cards in an envelope."

We talked to our friend Paul at Idle Time Books about our need for a pithy way to describe it. The brain-trust brainstorm went something like this:

"It's a new literature delivery system"

"That doesn't tell people anything"

"It's like a new literature vehicle. Vehicle... vesicle."

"Too anatomical"

"How about envelope lit"

"Pouch lit"

"Too marsupial"

"Let's see...it's an envelope....a pouch...a sheath. Sheath literature."

"But what does that really tell people? It sounds like a weapon, or wheat."

"Envelope....pocket?"

"Pocket rocket!"

[a customer who was probably trying to block us out as he read from the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, peers around a bookshelf "You probably want to stay away from pocket rocket."] Wise words.

"Pocket literature!"

"Pocket lit!"

"Yes, because it's in a pocket, and it also fits in your pocket--" [begins doodling on a piece of paper] "See? It's a jeans pocket, but it's also an envelope--"

"Did you just draw an envelope on a butt?"

"Well....yes."

Exactly.

Monday, November 7, 2011

A Parable

There were once two young people: a woman and a man. They were both of average intelligence, average looks, and had an average net wealth. In fact, the only way they were not mediocre was in their love of literature.

It was autumn, nearing the holidays, and because these two were of only average intelligence, they were having trouble coming up with new ideas for gifts. They loved their family and friends, but were stuck firmly in a cycle of cliched gift ideas (sweaters, socks, Starbucks gift cards, more sweaters, DVDs).

One day, within seconds of each other -- these two lived on other sides of the country and had no interaction with or relation to each other -- they decided they were going to think outside the box and come up with the most amazing Christmas gift for their significant other (They chose one, thinking that getting amazing gifts for others might prove to be too much -- mom and dad would have to just live with another sweater).

The man decided to go somewhere he'd never been: the red light district. He searched high and low for lingerie and sex gifts, something to make his girlfriend love him more than she loved breathing. No, another gift card for a day at the spa would not suffice. Through the dark alleys and dens of vice he went looking for something, anything, to get for the love of his life. Then he found it, he found the most lewd, sexy, lascivious gift in the entire world, and was sure his honey would love it.

The woman wanted a gift for her husband. He'd asked for a flat screen and a three way, but she could not afford the former, and was repulsed by the latter. So she thought, and thought, and thought, and thought, until finally she decided to open up her computer and check her email. She got to surfing the internet, stopping here to look at videos, dawdling there to look at necklaces and jewelry for herself. And then she came across www.gatherkindling.com. And she saw that Kindling had gift subscriptions. For $24 dollars she could give her husband an amazing Christmas gift. But there was more, because at that rate she could afford subscriptions for everybody! EVERYONE WOULD GET KINDLING FOR CHRISTMAS!! She was so happy, she could barely contain herself; she did not know how she would keep it a secret until Christmas.

Eventually Christmas came. The man took his wife, sat her down on the sofa and brought out the gifts. He was so happy, so proud. He'd placed the gift in a large box, and wrapped it with gold paper and a red ribbon. He was trembling with excitement as she opened it.

But when she opened it, she was trembling with a different emotion: rage. Her heart felt like it had been turned inside out. She grabbed a bronzed ornamental pear from their coffee table and hucked it at his head, striking him on the bridge of the nose and rendering him bleeding and unconscious. She then dragged him out into the street, stripped him naked, and wrote pervert all over his body with her lipstick. His gift was placed next to him on the lawn.

Later, he was still unconscious. He was carried away by some meth cooks looking for a little extra score -- they left the gift he'd gotten for his wife. They kept him in their trailer, tied to the toilet, while they schemed in the living room about how they could demand a ransom. It was difficult, as neither of them knew how to write, let alone craft a ransom note. As they were arguing, with large hand gestures about the importance of a few words, a batch of meth that they had left unattended exploded, killing the both of them as well as their hostage.

The woman on the other hand, was thrown a parade by her neighborhood. She got gift subscriptions to Kindling for everybody and was given the key to the city.

Moral? We'll let you decide the moral. And when you figure it out head on over to our subscriptions page, and make yourself right with the world.


Friday, November 4, 2011

Kindling: Retail Version

There was a time, and that time was not that long ago, when Kindling was only available for purchase on the world wide web. It was a fine time, but we always knew we would be moving up, to bigger things, to better things. And that time for us is now. We're officially in a store. Yes, we're still available for purchase through our website, but we're also available for purchase at Smash Records in Adams Morgan.

For some of you out there, this might be a bummer. You're all the way in Chicago, or Portland, or Texas, or India, and your record stores and coffee shops and magazine stands do not currently carry Kindling. Be cool, we're working on that.

Now, for the rest of you. That means you have a job to do. If you're in the District, get over to Adams Morgan and buy the hell out of some Kindling. If Smash Records is out of Kindling, demand they call us to bring over some more. The higher the demand, the more Kindling will be provided, until it's all over the place. Literally, we want to be everywhere. Starbucks, McDonalds, Ruths Chris, Jaleo, Powells in Portland, Billy Bobs in Fort Worth. Does Lennox Lewis own a restaurant or a club somewhere? We want to be there.

(Also, check us out at DC Week, maybe)

Friday, October 28, 2011

Lit in the District

This is a serious town. It is a town of valedictorians and overachievers, of dreamers and idealists, and, on the other side of that coin, it is a town of marginalized and underrepresented people who just want to get by (and maybe, just maybe, vote once in a while). It’s where laws are created and peace treaties are reached. It’s a place where ambassadors and dignitaries from around the globe are wined and dined, and where the future of nations rests on the yes's and no's of heavily-kissed asses. There are museums here, and monuments celebrating everything from civil rights victories to victories in great wars. The President lives here, in a house as recognizable as the Coca Cola script.

This is a non-fiction town, a town that writes about election strategies and budget crises. This is a town fluent in legalese that compiles years’ worth of evidence on political transgressions and displays them in thousand-page reports. Books about scandals and stained dresses live here. Presidential biographies live here. If you wanted to write a poem that captures DC, it would be long and bland, and rigidly structured with every last line rhyming with power or money. One could even go so far as to say that the biggest contributor to the DC fiction scene is the lies the politicians tell to get themselves elected (A serious case could be made that the ideas for how to fix a broken economy that originate from some members of our Congress is the basis for a Fantasy or Magical Realism novel.)

It’s a town deserving of so much more, literature-wise. DC is a town made up of distinct neighborhoods full of colorful characters that are overflowing with stories waiting to be told. Funny stories, magical stories, heartbreaking stories, none of which necessarily involve exit poll numbers or spies. And yes, there have been troubles and hard times: race riots and sky-high homicide rates, crack epidemics and terrorist attacks. But Southern writers from Twain to Faulkner to Barry Hannah have proved that quality literature can be born from the dark and difficult-to-talk-about. Baltimore turned its troubles into an award winning TV series. New York has spawned many novels about the 9/11 terror attacks. There's literature from the Pacific Northwest, and the Rocky Mountains, and the Southwest. What about DC? A town of this many people, where this many things happen, there should be a thriving literature "scene". Where is it?

The short answer is, it’s there. It’s small, but it's growing. It’s not quite here yet, but the future looks pretty bright. Literary magazines and publishers like are sprouting and organizing. 826DC, the latest chapter of Dave Eggers’ brainchild, is here, aiming to build a new generation of poets and writers. The longer, probably more accurate answer is that only time will tell. DC has potential to be a literature scene, has passionate, proud people with a unique voice, but it remains to be seen whether these budding poets and writers can ever compete with the wet blanket of seriousness that Congress and the White House hucks around. History has shown that it's an uphill battle.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Themes?

So, I'm not saying we're going to do a theme issue. But if we were to do one, what kind of theme would you guys like to see? Yes, that means you, The Three People That Read This Blog.

Here are some ideas. Let us know which one you like best...or feel free to come up with more

DC issue (Doesn't have to be spy/gov't stuff -- but we wouldn't necessarily want constant rehasing of the "2 DCs" theme)
City/Urban issue
World/Global issue (stories not necessarily from abroad, but set in/about locales other than the US)
Sports Issue
Literature Issue (about books and poems)
Kids issue

???

We'd love your input. And your friends' inputs.




Sunday, October 16, 2011

Update

Here's a list of authors who have not written us anything, even though we kind of want them to

Joyce Carol Oates (It's no lie, we can't quit JCO. We're not giving up on you, baby!)
Jhumpa Lahiri (but only for the Pulitzer, and the publicity that comes with it)
Thomas Pynchon (if he can will himself to write something less than 1200 pages)
Ngugi wa Thiong'o


...more to follow



Update: We sent a formal request to the family of Hemingway to have Ol Papa's body exhumed and forced to write again, but it has been met with disdain, disappointment, and heartache. I mean really, its only 250 words, come on.






Thursday, October 6, 2011

Birth Announcement

At 1.8 ounces, the first issue of Kindling was brought into the world. Sure, it's paper and ink and envelope glue, but we love it like it was an actual child.


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Kindling Issue #1 & Contest announcement

You'll be getting your first issues soon, and there are a few things that we'd like to mention about it.

1) Yes, there are some cosmetic flaws. Not many, but a few. We say, so what? Don't let them distract you. We are not The New Yorker. We have low-tech equipment and a low-tech budget. So, there may be some smudges, or what have you. That's part of what makes Kindling what it is. The important thing is the work, yes, the work, and we've done our best to make sure the work is showcased in the best way possible.

2) We had an amazing group of contributors and fans that have made this possible. Thanks. But the job isn't done. It's up to you to make Kindling a success. Tell your friends about it, tell your parents, tell everyone. The more people that like Kindling, submit work to Kindling, and subscribe to Kindling, the longer Kindling can stick around.

3) Submit your pictures of your copies of Kindling. Email them to gatherkindling@gmail.com. We want to see Kindling in unique places, doing unique poses, and with unique people. We will give free copies of the next issue and post the pictures here on the blog for the most creative pics.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Hey, It's October

Many of you are probably wondering where your first issue is. Well, it's just about on its way. There was a very minor dispute with Joyce Carol Oates.

We wanted her to submit a piece; she didn't. We said Joyce, it's 250 words, which is essentially 1/100th of what you write in a day. She said no. Actually, she didn't say anything. She didn't return our calls. Or our letters. Or our text messages. Or our calls to her family friends. What followed was a minor thing, totally innocuous. There was no reason for her to involve the authorities.

We stood outside of her window and threw pebbles. When that didn't work we took the Cusack Approach and held a boombox over our head. When that didn't work we hired a skywriter, which, in hindsight would have never worked because it was 1:28 in the morning (that was the worst 3 grand we ever spent).  Finally she came out. She acted pissy and annoyed and sleepy. Demanding 10 grand.

That was when the cops showed up, and were very aggressive with their billy clubs and Tasers. These are scars that will never heal, by the way, though they were not as painful as JCO's rejection.

So the point to all of this? The point is that you should blame Joyce Carol Oates for you not receiving your issue of Kindling on October 1st. Boycott all her books until she agrees to submit to us for free. And a secondary point is this: the first issue Kindling will be mailed soon to subscribers and contributors.

(Oh, and before you get all self-righteous and defensive. Saying: Joyce Carol Oates is the face of American fiction. She's a saint. Don't ever make fun of that magnificent woman. Know this: she sprayed us in the eyes with mace, and then, while we were writhing on the ground, she bit us about the ankles and knees until the cops showed up. She's a madwoman and completely undeserving of your sympathy.)

PS -- If you're reading this, Joyce, we love you. I know we were saying otherwise when you were attacking us for being normal, if slightly ambitious souls, but The Falls changed our lives.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Interview

[Diane Sawyer takes her seat, turns on her tape recorder, and straightens the lapel on her blazer. She takes a sip of coffee. We are at Starbucks. A homeless man is looking at her, and she's a little unsettled. But she's a professional; she shakes it off]

Diane Sawyer: I'm fascinated by this idea. How did you come up with it?

Brian: Well, we were sitting around one day.

Carolyn: You were sitting around. I was working.

Brian: I was sitting around. And I decided, why not make my own job? Why not start a literary magazine? Then Carolyn came up with the nuts and bolts. The concept.

DS: What experience do you two have with the magazine industry? Or publishing?

Brian: None at all. Which, is already coming back to haunt us. I learned that most literary magazines are bound, and have covers, and that's news to me. I mean. I didn't know.

Carolyn: I used to subscribe to New Letters, back in Kansas City, but yeah, pretty much in the same boat there. Whoops. Kinda blew the whole binding and cover thing.

DS: So it must be difficult for you. What do you find most difficult?

B: Well, uh...

C: Um, maybe building a following? Getting people to read our stuff when all they really want to do is cry about the failing of the US Economy...but I'm getting a little preachy there.

DS: Fair. Next question. What are you feeling as you near production of your first issue?

B: Pressure. Enormous Pressure.

C: And not the good kind.

B: Yeah, not the kind that pro athletes feel in the locker room. This is more like being slowly crushed by a freight elevator pressure. I mean, we have three subscribers now?

C: Yeah, three.

B: We're being interviewed by Diane Keaton

C: Sawyer

B: Sawyer?

DS: Yes, Diane Keaton was an actress in Woody Allen movies.

B: Whatever. I'm just saying. Fame came on us pretty quick. It seems just yesterday I was walking to this very Starbucks, and a homeless man asked me to buy him a sandwich. And I told him that I didn't have any change to spare. And I still don't have change to spare. But. I'm a famous editor now. I've..well...we've created this great product. 3 subscribers. Almost 60 Facebook likes. It's different. I'm different.

C: We're talking Malcolm Gladwell's Tipping Point here. One second we're not tipped, the next second we're tipped.

B: Without a doubt.

[A Ruckus in Starbucks. Homeless man tries to steal Diane Sawyer's tape recorder. He trips over a laptop cord. A man in skinny jeans hands the tape recorder back to Diane Sawyer as the thief scrambles down the street.]

DS: So what's next for the editors of Kindling

B: We have a few new ideas

C: Yeah, but they're probably really far off.

B: We'd like to make a magazine with poems printed on toothpicks. You know like they do the names on the grains of rice?

C: We've also been toying with the idea of just having blank pages. But we can't really figure out how to make it look like we're not just selling Moleskine's or whatever.

B: You can lead a horse to water, and all that.

DS: Right. Well, that's all I have.

[Diane thanks everybody for their time, and hops back into her Helicopter that takes her back to ABC's news desk]

Monday, September 26, 2011

First Post

So Kindling blogs, too. There will be more posts and stuff for everybody to read. Eventually, we might even get some of our fans and contributors to post cool stuff here.

It may be ambitious. Printing the magazine seems like enough work...but so what. At The Whittled-Down Log: A Kindling Venue, there may be book reviews, news, and/or random jibber-jabber. Who knows, maybe one of our contributors might want to post something.